Blue Heron Visions

Spiritual Life Coaching


Volume 1, Issue 3
September 1, 2004

Inside This Issue
Through the Perspective Glass
The Empowerment Society of the United States of America
Meet the Guest Coach
Soul Messages: Are You Listening?
"Here's Looking at You. . .": Training Ourselves to Watch

     

Through the Perspective Glass

As we journey through life, most of us want to have many possibilities and options available to us so that we can manage the situations, decisions, and challenges we face. None of us likes to be backed into the proverbial corner, feeling the severe limitations of possible solutions to our difficulties.

The reality is, though, that in any given moment, in any situation, we possess unlimited possibilities. How can that be? Because in any given moment and in any situation, we have available many different perspective glasses!

What is a perspective glass? Although archaic, the first dictionary definition of the word perspective is an optical glass (as a telescope). The word comes from the Latin verb perspicere, which means to look through, see clearly. Further research reveals that a perspective glass is a telescope which shows objects in their right position.

Of course, all of us know other, more common definitions of perspective, so why have I chosen this archaic definition? There are two reasons.

First, when I started thinking about this article, I kept seeing myself in my mind’s eye surrounded by telescopes. Each telescope (perspective glass) gave me a different way of seeing any situation I was viewing and offered different possibilities for a solution.

Second, to look through a telescope requires that we step away and place ourselves outside of the situation or challenge. This quote by an unknown author illustrates this point beautifully: “It is difficult to see the picture when you are inside of the frame.” Using a perspective glass allows us to see the picture from various angles and distances outside the frame. It is the distance and the different points of view that provide the possibilities and options we desire.

The next time you feel stuck in a situation, try this exercise called “360 degree imaging.” (I have adapted this exercise from Quantum Leaps: 7 Skills for Workplace ReCreation by Charlotte Shelton, page 43.)

  1. In a centered and relaxed state, imagine yourself placing your current challenge, situation, decision in the center of a large circle.

  2. Imagine that around this circle are many perspective glasses—maybe as many as 360!

  3. As you go around the outside of the circle, use each perspective glass to view the situation from all angles. Make notes of your impressions

  4. Finally, step back from the circle to view all the impressions together—without judgment—allowing them to combine and superimpose themselves in any and every way possible.

What new options and creative possibilities did you discover through your perspective glass? :o)

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The Empowerment Society
of the United States of America

by Pamela Pfeiffer, CEC

 

 

This month’s Guest Coach, Pamela Pfeiffer, CEC, writes about a unique not-for-profit corporation, The Empowerment Society of the United States of America. Discover more about Ms. Pfeiffer in “Meet the Guest Coach.”

 

 

The Empowerment Society of the United States of America (ESUSA) is a unique, national 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, providing professional life coaching services to the women of the United States Armed Forces. We are grateful to these women and salute them for their loyalty and dedication to protecting our country’s freedom. ESUSA inspires hope in every woman to answer her purpose and fulfill her dreams as she returns home from active duty.

War is a life changing experience, especially for our deployed military women. The memories these courageous women retain are dramatic. Try to imagine what it might feel like, as a member of this select group, to receive orders to report to overseas active duty. How would it feel to hug your children or loved ones TODAY and say “Goodbye” for an undisclosed period of time, or worse yet, possibly for the last time? When you arrive at your assigned destination, what thoughts would be passing through your mind in the foreign dirt and darkness of this unfamiliar environment?

Living in the moment and focused intent are essential to survival in a war zone. But what do our military personnel think about while they are torn away from the comforts of home? Can they allow their minds the luxury of planning for the life they are so desperately fighting to come home to?

Facing death at any minute is cause to reflect on what is REALLY important in life. Doubts and questions like these may arise.

  • What changes will I choose to make when returning home?
  • Will my position still be waiting for me after a year or more away from my workplace?
  • Should I change careers?
  • Do I have the proper training and formal education to compete in the open job market?
  • Will my marriage or relationship withstand the strain of time and distance?
  • What new circumstances and challenges will I encounter that are completely out of my control, yet related to my absence?
  • Will my children remember me?

Whether we like it or not… LIFE IS CHANGE! When it is time to return home, making the transition from active duty in a war zone to living a happy and fulfilling civilian life takes a different kind of courage and different strategies and skills. Women in the military face a variety of issues and concerns associated with serving in the military as well as their transition back to civilian life. This transition period is a perfect time to partner with a life coach.

The Empowerment Society of the United States of America stands ready to assist in this transition. As a part of the exiting procedure, we highly recommend participation in the Transition Assistance Program (TAP) provided by the United States Department of Defense. The ESUSA coaching staff is trained to work closely with each separating service member as they apply their Individual Transition Plan to create their new life at home. Making this transition can be a time of excitement and opportunity; for many, though, it is a time of high anxiety and stress. Our professional life coaches empower our participants to maintain a positive attitude while facing their challenges and carrying out their goals in an organized step-by-step process.

In coordination with the life coaching process, we further assist our program recipients in their successful business and career transitions by inviting them to join The Empowerment Society Chamber of Commerce. The chamber consists of businesses, products, services, and resources that are owned and offered by women of the United States military and supporters of ESUSA. Our purpose is to use this network to support and patronize chamber members both personally and professionally. Collectively, we share an empowering lifestyle of authentic friendships and abundant business relationships.

As part of the ESUSA mission, we also support our program participants through referrals and references to collaborating resource agencies to aid them in making informed choices to achieve their goals and improve the quality of their civilian lives.

Our professional life coaching sessions, programs, and Chamber of Commerce provide the tools and skills to empower the women of the United States military to re-establish themselves into society with confidence, dignity, and success. We feel with great passion at this time in American history that the focus of our organization is rightly directed towards this worthy and deserving sector. We are honored to help those who have served us in such a heroic way.

If you are a certified coach interested in volunteering or for more information about the many ways you can contribute, go to www.empowermentsociety.org or call 516-922-7134. We look forward to a lifetime of business and friendship with you! :o)

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Attention Coaches!

If you are a coach and would like to submit an article and be featured in the “Meet the Guest Coach” section, send an email to me at vlmma_1995@yahoo.com, introducing yourself and indicating your article idea. :o)

 

 

Meet the Guest Coach

 

The Empress of Empowerment,
Pamela Pfeiffer, CEC

Pamela Pfeiffer, CEC, is the founder of The Empowerment Society of The United States of America (ESUSA), a not-for-profit membership organization dedicated to helping women of the United States Armed Forces. This powerful network unites members across the continent, benefiting all by sharing common beliefs, strong business ethics, and personal life experiences. Through a mutual exchange of individual strengths, the organization encourages everyone to experience life and success at ever-expanding levels.

Pamela’s passion as a Certified Life Empowerment Coach created the vision of ESUSA to unite this elite sector of women to share in an empowering lifestyle of authentic friendships and abundant business relationships. Her experience in working with clients in her coaching practice and watching them emerge through their own desire to live life to its fullest drives her every day. Her constant success in helping others transition and dramatically improve their quality of life comes through facilitating groups, giving presentations, providing one-on-one coaching, and utilizing The Empowerment Society Chamber of Commerce networking resources. Pam's greatest fulfillment comes from witnessing the awesome power of others drawing strength and encouragement not only from her coaching but also from one another.

Pamela’s successes before life coaching have spanned a career as a fashion fit model, restaurateur, and real estate investor. Her certification as a Professional Empowerment Coach was earned through the Institute for Professional Empowerment Coaching (iPEC), a world-class training institute accredited by the International Coaching Federation.

You can contact Ms. Pfeiffer by calling 516-922-7134 or visit The Empowerment Society of the United States of America web site at www.empowermentsociety.org to learn more about this not-for-profit organization. :o)

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Soul Messages:
Are you listening?


Clipart courtesy of www.coolfreeclipart.net

 

 

This month’s Soul Messages is about applying first aid to some stinging wounds.


Even though I am a firm believer in the fact that our Souls are always sending us messages, I am still amazed when a message suddenly appears. I had this experience the other day.

I was working on a project dealing with archetypes that I found in Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential by Caroline Myss. In the course of examining how the archetype of Poet related to my life, I wrote the following paragraph in my archetype journal:

The sting of the words [that others say to you] belongs to you not to others. No matter their intentions, if you do not receive the words as they were sent, they cannot hurt. Look back in your past. Release the stinger (like a bee’s). Otherwise the poison continues to seep into you—goes into your bloodstream.

As I reread what I had written, I decided to look up the first aid procedure for bee stings and discover what message my Soul was communicating. (Note: First aid information taken from http://www.umm.edu/non_trauma/bee.htm) I learned that the first aid recommendations for bee stings also apply to “stinging” wounds in relationships. Read on to see what I mean.

  • Bees leave behind a stinger attached to a venom sac. Do not try to pull it out as this may release more venom; instead gently scrape it out with a blunt-edged object, such as a credit card or dull knife.

As I thought about this recommendation, I realized that many times when I have been “stung” by another person’s words, I did not choose to follow these instructions. Instead, I let the “stinger” remain in me by reliving the incident over and over again in my imagination. This process causes the venom of hurt feelings that I experience to be released more and more into my heart and psyche.

To remove the “stingers” that occur in my relationships, I must acknowledge and experience my hurt feelings and then discover why I am hurt, looking to my Soul for answers and not indulging in victim thinking—“They done me wrong!”

  • Wash the area carefully with soap and water. This should be continued several times a day until the skin is healed.

Washing the wound is important to prevent infections from bee stings. The instructions indicate that the cleansing should be done several times a day until the wound has healed.

When I have been “stung,” washing my perceived wound with the balm of forgiveness prevents bitterness and anger toward the other person and the corresponding bitterness and anger that the ego will eventually direct toward me.

To keep the wound washed, I need to let my Soul control my mind. My mind, when controlled by the ego, loves to remember my wounds. When controlled by my Soul, my mind is a useful ally, cleansing the hurt feelings by replaying the record of forgiveness until the wound is healed.

The final recommendations help the person alleviate the pain and discomfort after a bee sting.

  • Apply a cold or ice pack, wrapped in cloth for a few minutes.

  • Apply a paste of baking soda and water and leave it on for 15 to 20 minutes.

  • Take acetaminophen for pain.

Here are some ways I can alleviate the pain and discomfort after I experience a “sting” in a relationship.

  • I can choose to believe that the person never had the intention to hurt me.
  • I can see the person’s words and actions as a call for love as described in A Course in Miracles.
  • I can view the person with gratefulness because he or she is performing the service of being a Holy Mirror for me. He or she is reflecting back to me the way I respond or react in similar situations.

Finally, I would like to share a story that my boyfriend told me. He has a friend who works with bees all the time, which means, of course, that he gets stung quite often. But this man actually enjoys being stung! For him, the venom has a kind of drug effect, giving him a “buzz.” (No pun intended!)

When I thought about this man, my Soul passed on another important message. Oftentimes, I also enjoy the effects of having hurt feelings. I purposely keep my wounds open, not forgiving and not allowing them to heal, so I can justify my behavior and negative feelings toward the other person. Feeding the ego in this way creates and sustains the illusion of separation. My Soul wants me to always remember that in every situation, I am one with all people.

What messages has your Soul been sending you? Are you listening? :o)

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“Forgiveness will never fail to free you.”
—Jerrold Mundis

Attention Readers!

What questions do you have about coaching? What challenges or situations would you like to discuss with a coach? I would like to start an “Ask the Coach” column in my newsletter. This column will NOT be an advice column. Instead, I will use coaching techniques to evoke insights into the questions submitted. (I will use the submitter’s initials only to maintain confidentiality.) Submit your questions to vlmma_1995@yahoo.com. :o)


“Here's Looking at You. . .”:
Training Ourselves to Watch


In his book The Power of NOW, Eckhart Tolle writes that the “moment [we] start watching the thinker, a higher level consciousness becomes activated” (page 14). In other words, when we learn to watch ourselves think, speak, and act, without passing any judgment, at those moments we are totally connected with our Soul, the very essence of our spiritual beingness.

To experience this idea of “watching the thinker,” do the following exercise taken from The Power of NOW.

“Close your eyes and say to yourself: ‘I wonder what my next thought is going to be.’ Then become very alert and wait for the next thought. Be like a cat watching a mouse hole. What thought is going to come out of the mouse hole?” (Tolle, page 79).

What happened? How long did it take for another thought to surface? How did it feel to be consciously “watching” for the next thought?

When I do this exercise, I get the feeling of being alert, watchful, yet somehow detached. My perspective shifts almost instantly to conscious awareness.


Picture courtesy of ranxerox,
www.morguefile.com

 

We can use our journals to help us practice the skill of “watching.” Here are some ideas to try.

  • Do the previous exercise, using your journal to record your experience. Write the statement “I wonder what my next thought is going to be” at the top of a new journal page. Proceed with the exercise as previously described. Afterward, write about your experience, describing you how you felt and what you noticed.

  • Set aside 5 to 10 minutes and write every thought that goes through your mind. This exercise helps you to focus on the thoughts that are racing through your mind, making you more aware of them. Writing the thoughts gives you an opportunity to slow your mind down and to actually “listen” to the thoughts. When you listen, do so impartially. As the watcher, you are never judging the thoughts, simply observing them.

  • Create a script of a recent conflict. In this exercise, use a conflict that you have experienced and write a script of the conflict. Describe the scene. Name the actors, using proper names for everyone including yourself. Now, write what happened in script form. Here’s an example:
    George: You never want to go places that I like.
    Vicky: (Yelling) That’s because I don’t like those places!
    After you have finished, read what you have written as the observer, with no judgments about what you are reading. Just notice how the players acted out the scene. What insights did you discover about yourself and the conflict? Write about them in your journal.

Training ourselves to watch frees us from our out-of-control thoughts, our racing mind. We become witnesses of the thoughts instead of being controlled by them. We connect with our Soul and are able to consciously live moment by moment, appreciating and enjoying the wonder and magic that is Life. :o)

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“Knowing others is wisdom; knowing the self is enlightenment.”
—Tao Te Ching

Copyright (c) 2004 Vicky Lynn Macchione All Rights Reserved.
No part of this newsletter may be reproduced in any manner without written permission of the author(s).
Email address: vlmma_1995@yahoo.com Web site: www.geocities.com/vlmma_1995